In the fall of 2015, at the age of twenty-four, I was still having unsuccessful results with my current treatment plan.

So, I decided to seek help elsewhere.

After researching medical professionals, I chose a doctor who had thirty-plus years’ experience specializing in psychiatry.

At my first appointment, I informed Dr. S of my current medications, Lithium, Abilify and a chasteberry supplement.

Additionally, I openly discussed my past medical experiences as well as my current physical and mental health. 

During this appointment, I was informed the supplement I took likely caused more problems than benefits, so I decidedly choose to stop taking it.

After I discussed the years of unsuccessful medication treatments I received, I was briefed on what treatment plan I can expect.

Subsequently, the new plan I was going to receive was to be geared again toward medication management.

I was also told during this first visit by Dr. S., how she would reach out and consult with other highly knowledgeable doctors to establish the correct medication treatment plan (or as she commonly referred to as “the right cocktail”) I would be receiving.

A few days later at my next appointment, I was told that another doctor was indeed consulted regarding my treatment plan.

Accordingly, it was advised that a new medication plan be prescribed to help me feel better. I was reassured by Dr. S., I would be receiving the “right cocktail” for my wellness.

I, along with my mom, believed and trusted her.

The new medication treatment plan I was prescribed basically consisted of an additional drug, Depakote Sprinkles Capsule.

This new plan also included an increase in my current Lithium medication dosage, but my Abilify dosage was to remain the same.

Soon after, my health mentally and physically took a major turn for the worse.

Within one-month of beginning Depakote Sprinkles, my dosage was increased twice while also adjusting my Lithium and Abilify several times.

Consequently, every time my Depakote Sprinkles was increased, I experienced increased side effects and my overall wellness declined.

My current unwellness now included erratic mood behavior which increasingly worsened over time. Along with episodes of hallucinations that became a regular occurrence.

Eventually I developed a rash on my face. 

In this short period of time, I also went through several withdrawals from the constant altering of my medications.

Within two months on Depakote, I started experiencing increased anxiety as well as extreme negative thoughts.

By this time, I also began having heart palpitations. My weight continued to increase without even my awareness at the time it was happening, and my skin appeared to be hardening.

Now, I was currently taking three Depakote Sprinkles’ Capsules for a total of 375mg.

In constant communication with my doctor, I nonetheless reached out for help, telling her the pain I was going through and the symptoms I was having.

I continually received reassurance that I would get better once the “right cocktail” was established, always with encouragement that it will just take a little time to be figured out.

Particularly, it was pointed out to me that the difficulty in my treatment most likely caused by my sensitivity to the medication. Unfortunately, nothing further was done regarding this problem. No medical tests out of the normal blood work were ever suggested.

With my symptoms worsening, Dr. S recommended I open one of the Depakote Sprinkles’ Capsules and sprinkle approximately half of the capsule on my food nightly.

In her opinion, I can decrease my Depakote slightly which should help me get relief.

By the end of December 2015, just a little over two months on Depakote, I had nauseousness, increased heart palpitations, joint pain, major anxiety, weight gain and uncontrollable negative thoughts.

It was decided at this time that my Abilify dosage should be decreased slightly.

To obtain this decrease, I was again told to cut the tip of the Abilify pill.

I continued this current medication regimen which included two Depakote Sprinkles’ Capsules and a few beads from a third Depakote Sprinkles Capsule until the summer of 2016.

Overtime, it became apparent that taking a consistent amount of Depakote this way was impossible.

I noticed that each bead was a different size and counting them was impracticable for a precise measurement.

I took it upon myself to call the manufacturer of the Depakote Sprinkles Capsule.

The information I received from the manufacturing representative was that the capsules should not be opened to take partial beads, since the dosage was based on the weight of all the beads together.

After informing Dr. S what I found out and the increased side effects I was having, she switched the Depakote Sprinkles Capsules with two 125mg Depakote DR Tablets.

During a period of a little over a year being on Depakote, I experienced severe memory loss, nauseousness, uncontrollable weight gain, extreme joint pain, tardive dyskinesia behaviors, dizziness, hallucinations, increased depression, rashes, and worsen irritability.