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JOURNEY THROUGH DEPAKOTE
Nikki’s Story
By Nikki and Anne Heart ♥ March 20, 2025
(Originally published: April 3, 2023)
*Although we wrote this post together, we have chosen to present the following through Nikki’s eyes.
By the fall of 2015, six years into my treatment plan, I was still not seeing any successful results.
So, I decided to seek help elsewhere.
After researching healthcare providers, I selected a doctor with over thirty years of experience specializing in psychiatry.
At my first appointment, I informed Dr. S. of my current medications, which included Lithium, Abilify and a chasteberry supplement.
I also openly shared my past medical experiences, along with my current physical and mental health.
Dr. S. informed me at this time that the chasteberry supplement might be causing more problems than benefits. So I accepted her advice and stopped taking it.
We discussed my history with various unsuccessful medication plans, and Dr. S. explained the treatment plan I could expect from her.
Subsequently, the new plan she offered was again geared toward medication treatment.
This time I had greater confidence; being told she would reach out and consult with other highly knowledgeable doctors to establish the correct medication treatment plan– again referred to as “the right cocktail”– for me.
At my next appointment a few days later, I was told that another doctor was indeed consulted regarding my treatment plan.
Accordingly, it was advised that a different medication regime should be prescribed, one that would be the “right cocktail” for me.
I, along with my mom, believed and trusted her.
This new plan also included an increase in my current Lithium dosage, but my Abilify dosage was to remain the same.
Soon after, my health mentally and physically took a major turn for the worse.
Within one-month of beginning Depakote Sprinkles, my dosage was increased twice while also adjusting my Lithium and Abilify several times.
Consequently, every time my Depakote Sprinkles Capsule was increased, I experienced increased side effects and my overall wellness declined.
My current unwellness now included:
- erratic mood behavior, which increasingly worsened over time
- episodes of hallucinations, that became a regular occurrence
- a rash, which developed on my face
In this short period of time, I also went through several withdrawals from the constant altering of my medications.
Within two months on Depakote, I started experiencing:
- increased anxiety
- extreme negative thoughts
- heart palpitations
- uncontrollable weight gain
- hardening of my skin
In constant communication with my doctor, I nonetheless reached out for help, telling her the pain I was going through and the symptoms I was having.
I continually received reassurance that I would get better once the “right cocktail” was established, always with encouragement that it will just take a little time to be figured out.
It was specifically pointed out to me that my sensitivity to the medication was likely the cause of the difficulty in my treatment. Unfortunately, no medical action was taken based on this information, and no tests beyond the routine blood work were ever recommended.
As my symptoms worsened, Dr. S recommended I open one of the Depakote Sprinkles’ Capsules and sprinkle approximately half of the capsule on my food nightly.
In her opinion, I can decrease my Depakote slightly which should help me get relief.
By the end of December 2015, just a little over two months on Depakote, I had severe side effects now consisting of:
- major anxiety
- uncontrollable negative thoughts
- increased heart palpitations
- hardening of skin
- more weight gain
- joint pain
Rather than identifying Depakote as the main cause, Dr. S. recommended slightly decreasing the Abilify dosage.
To obtain this decrease, I needed to cut off the tip of the Abilify pill.
I continued this current medication regimen which included two Depakote Sprinkles’ Capsules and a few beads from a third Depakote Sprinkles’ Capsule until the summer of 2016.
Overtime, it became apparent that taking a consistent amount of Depakote this way was impossible.
I noticed that each bead was a different size and counting them was impracticable for a precise measurement.
I took it upon myself to call the manufacturer of the Depakote Sprinkles Capsule.
The information I received from the Depakote manufacturer stated that the capsules should not be opened to remove a portion, as the dosage is based on the weight of all the beads combined.
After informing Dr. S. about my findings and the increased side effects I was having, she switched the Depakote Sprinkles’ Capsules with two 125mg Depakote DR tablets. Sadly, never admitting her prescription advice was inaccurate, only stating this was normal in the medical field.
During a period of a little over a year being on Depakote, I experienced:
- severe memory loss
- nauseousness
- uncontrollable weight gain
- extreme joint pain
- tardive dyskinesia behaviors
- dizziness
- hallucinations
- increased depression
- rashes
- worsen irritability
There were many times I would look in the mirror and not recognize myself and at other times I couldn’t remember how to begin a conversation.
I was in constant, intense physical and mental pain. Even simple tasks like walking became incredibly difficult, often requiring me to use a cane.
Very concerned, I scheduled an appointment with Dr. S. Unknowingly at the time, it would be my last.
My mom accompanied me as I walked into her office needing a cane, but still holding onto hope that I would get the help I needed.
But instead, I was given a thirty-day notice to seek treatment elsewhere.
As I transitioned to yet another healthcare provider, I started my slow withdrawal from Depakote.
On November 18, 2016, I stopped Depakote completely, but I continued to fight a long battle of withdrawals.
In summary:
During the time I was prescribed Depakote, my life became stagnant.
I no longer was able to work; and in fact, I rarely left the house due to neurological dysfunction episodes and overwhelming negative thoughts.
It is unclear what exactly was the direct result of Depakote or the combinatin of drugs knowingly being prescribed to me by a medical doctor and filled by a pharmacist.
Over the years I have become informed that the combination of drugs I was prescribed can be very detrimental.
Also, I have finally been tested and do indeed have significant allergies to chemicals in most medications.
Why is my story important to you?
- To help you become aware
- To provide information you may not normally get
- To empower you with knowledge
- To stop this from happening to you
How can this happen to you?
- A lack of knowledge in prescribing drugs
- Incorrect information provided to you
- Relying on protocol treatment plans instead of looking at the individual patient
- Not truly listening to the patient
- Unwillingness to recognize a problem with treatment plan
- Lack of awareness of physical and mental pain pertaining to mental health
What can you do?
- Question the medication prescriber
- Research about the medication
- Learn about different techniques and self-help programs
- Realize there is no such thing as a quick fix
- Trust yourself
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Note: All information in “Nikki’s Story and Mom’s Story” are based on detail journals covering seven years of Nikki’s life on prescription drugs.
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