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Helping Someone
By Nikki and Anne Heart ♥ April 24, 2025
*Although we wrote this post together, we have chosen to present the following through Mom’s eyes.
Mom's Story: Journey to Help
Discovering How to Help Someone in Need
Helping someone who is struggling with their wellness, whether mental or physical, can be challenging.
I have learned a difficult lesson over the years — that there may not be an immediate solution to a problem.
In my efforts to ease Nikki’s pain—both mental and physical—I would often rattle off suggestions: “We can try this,” “How about that?” or “You need to do this or that.” My words came from a place of love, but also desperation.
But unfortunately, it becomes difficult to admit that a solution may not be one that is immediately obtainable.
So sadly, what seems to be helping may be false hope and unfilled promises.
Learning What You Can Do
Helping someone with negative thoughts, mental illness, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), whatever name you may put on it, is difficult.
And most likely an ongoing commitment.
Things that are important when helping someone:
- Listen to what they are truly saying
- Don’t judge how they are feeling
- Realize that even if you feel they should just shake off the feeling, they probably can’t
- Sometimes they may just need a shoulder to cry on
- Just be there for them
- Always remember, everyone is different!
Recognize that the biggest challenges for one person may not be for someone else
One of the most significant challenges Nikki has faced—and continues to struggle with—is the battle against her negative thoughts.
We are aware now that Nikki’s obsessive-compulsive disorder will be a lifelong commitment to control, but the goal is not to make it life consuming.
Nikki unquestionably has been through hell and back.
But I must admit, there have been moments where the emotional toll has weighed heavily on me, too. Not living with OCD myself, I sometimes find it difficult to fully grasp the depth of her experience. It can strain my patience, and there are times when frustration gets the better of me—even when I know it shouldn’t.
What I’ve come to learn is the importance of truly listening, striving to understand, and continuing to educate myself.
I’ve also recognized that a person’s needs evolve, and what supports them in one moment may be different from what they require in another.
Physical help may be needed at time such as:
- Driving them somewhere if they don’t feel they can drive themselves
- Helping with chores
- Offering help in daily life activities
Or just listen to them without offering any kind of solution.
Help can be different things at different times.
Ask the person how you can help:
- Do they need help with everyday life activities, i.e. cooking, cleaning, etc.
- Do they need someone to drive them because they don’t feel they can this day
- Do they just need someone to cry to or to listen to them without seeking a solution
Remember, help doesn’t have to be something major. Simple things can go a long way in helping someone.
Research what the person is going through. Someone with OCD probably would need a different type of help then someone with a alcohol addiction.
Always realize that the advice from a professional doesn’t always mean its the correct advice.
Most importantly…
- Question what you feel is not accurate about some else’s treatment plan
- Learn all you can about their treatment plan
- Help in any way you can — it doesn’t matter if it is minimal
- Recognize that the health care provider may be wrong.
- Listern to the person reaching out for help.
The goal is always to help them live a happy and healthier lifestyle!
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” Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.”
-Albert Einstein-
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Note: All information in “Nikki’s Story and Mom’s Story” are based on detail journals covering seven years of Nikki’s life on prescription drugs.
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